I have had both my meetings and a huge weight has been lifted.  The work meeting went better than I could have dreamed of.  One of my managers now has a whole new level of respect from me.  This will make the return to work so much easier.  I am extremely thankful for this.

The hospital assessment was very useful, they are going to refer me to see a specialist and have suggested that I really get on with mindfulness, as it particularly useful in drug resistant cases like mine.  They are also going to refer me to the mood disorder centre in Exeter.

So for the first time in a long time I feel hopeful.  Hopeful that I can get through this, hopeful that this black cloud will lift fully and hopeful that I can have a productive, contented future.  Small steps are needed, but as I say I have hope.