I am struggling to find anything positive to write at the moment.  Every thing seems to be difficult, including getting out of bed and going out of the house.  I was supposed to go cycling with friends today, but couldn't face seeing too many people, so I didn't go.  The problem is, that I can't see how it is going to get better. Hopefully the psychiatrist will help as she might be more able to improve my medication.

And as ever, when I feel like this, my mind turns towards religion.  I always wonder why nothing comes along to make me feel better.  I know my suffering is much less than others in the world but why should people suffer?  I have read some of the arguments for human suffering but they really don't make sense to me. 

As far as I can see, it all comes back to faith being the most important thing.  Why does it have to be faith and not real evidence?   The answer to this is that there is no strong evidence in anything supernatural, so it has to rely on belief and faith.  Why would any god do that to us?  What is so special about just believing in something?  

Footnote

People will obviously think that my mind turns to religion at times of crisis because it is some sort of truth. I think it is because of my up bringing and the indelible mark it has made on me.  For example, if from a very young age I was told that the sun was a god I would still feel uneasy during eclipses, fearing I might have upset it.  I was told at an early age that god was the answer to everything, it is hard to shake off that hope.